At 8 months pregnant, I’m not tired of it. Sure, there are moments when I really would like to wear some of my other clothes but I’m sure if I had wanted to shop for maternity clothes and find cute stuff, I wouldn’t really be feeling that so much. I do have a few maternity items that I still can’t fit into. Hand me downs from friends and they are huge on me. I’ve gone with a more streamlined look for my gestating time. I wore leggings with tank tops and cardigans before I got preggers and I still do now. The only aspect of the look I can’t pull off now is the studded belt. I lost the studded belt when it started to look like I had a gross beer belly.
A quick look around pregnancy status boards tells me I’m in the minority. Some of the other women were sick and tired of being pregnant a month ago. Many incubators are talking about their elective c-sections that are scheduled for a couple weeks from now. I don’t agree that is such a great idea, but they can do what they want and I do understand the desire to bypass the actual labor part and just get straight to baby in arms. Labor, if you haven’t done it before, can sound a bit scary. There are so many variables involved but potentially it can be a pretty simply procedure provided the kid is in the right position and the mother has maintained mild level of fitness and can deal with a little hard work and some exhaustion. None of the other knocked up chicks seem to be having a good time.
For me though, I’m enjoying knowing where the kid is and that he is being taken care of, with little or no effort on my part. Really, I just sleep when my body tells me to sleep, drink when my body tells me to drink and eat when my body tells me to eat. I already prefer to sit as to stand and to lay down as to sit, so like Winston Churchill, I’m a great saver of energy. With the kid safely inside my friggin’ huge belly, I don’t even have to sooth him when he’s upset. He does that all by himself. Sure, I may not now if it’s his little head I’m holding my hand on or his little butt, but that’s okay too. Either way. There is still some sort of connection and it’s kinda cute. We even play little games. I’ll poke next to some lump and then he’ll poke back. I’ll do it again and he’ll do it again. And again. And again. I’m prone to be a little irritating so I’m sure my friends are relieved to find out my annoying tendencies extend even to my unborn monster.
I do look forward to meeting this kid. This insane child who chose me and his dad to parent him. I’m excited to see what he’s going to look like and then compare him to other people’s children and see that he is far superior to them. I’m excited to brag on facebook about how quickly he is learning to do things, things like rolling over or pulling my hair. I’m really excited to smell him. My mum is too. She calls it new baby smell and that’s kinda cute. As he grows I’ll be excited to see what he loves and what he wants to be. I’m kinda hoping I will end up with a little weirdo who likes ballet, piano and wants to be a cowboy. I have my reasons for that and hopefully, so will he.
For now though, I’ll enjoy my last few weeks of not being a mom. Yup, for the rest of my life, I will soon be a mom. Fuck. That just hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s like when I got married when I was in my early 20s. I cried at my wedding not because I was happy, but because I would forever, from that point on be married or divorced. I would never be single again and I knew that was huge. This though, this always from a few weeks forward being a mother, this giving up my childless title, while much, much more significant, isn’t making me cry. To tell you the truth (god, I hate saying that, it’s not like everything I say without saying “to tell you the truth” is a lie) I’m not sure how it really feels. My heart is racing a little. I have some butterflies in my stomach. I can feel a little sweat forming on my palms and I’m definitely a little warmer than before. So, I guess that is my amygdala sending adrenalin all over my body and initiating the fight or flight response. Ha! Not much hope for flight from this. Also, my head is a little dizzy and I’m feeling a little tingly. Low blood pressure? Faint or fight response? That sounds about right.